The 'quieting response' technique

This six second technique is one of the ones that I am most likely to teach during short duration workshops and seminars.  It is simple to understand and perform, combining both physical and cognitive methodologies.

Step one: Become aware of the emotional and physical response of stress. 
 It may seem obvious, but one can not begin to make changes in the stress response unless they are aware of the onset of physical changes that accompany stress.  Be aware of what you are saying to yourself.
Step two: Take a deep belly breath (Pause after the inhalation then exhale very slowly)
Diaphragmatic (Abdominal) breathing is the key to many forms of relaxation training.  Basically when you breathe in you poush your belly and diaphragm out like a balloon instead of expanding your chest.
Step three: Consciously let go of any muscular tension (let the shoulders drop, unclench fists, & let the jaw go loose as you exhale from the belly breath.
A natural reaction to stress is for muscles to contract (Bracing).  Unless you plan on physically defending yourself or running away from a threat this is wasted energy that often leads to physical complaints.
Step four: Smile inwardly. Smile with your eyes and the inside of your mouth.
Those who are excellent at managing stress have the ability to maintain their sense of humor under the most difficult situations.  They know that it is not worth it to take themselves too seriously.  Many are not able to laugh at themselves until long after the situation has past.  The trick is to find some immediate humor in your situation.  It may be that the only thing you can laugh at is that you have allowed yourself to get emotionally and physically aroused by this situation.  If you are able to smile inwardly you have essentially stopped your negative thought process and substituted something much more healthy.  Humor is very therapeutic, look for Web sites on this topic in my links page.  By the way it may not be helpful to smile outwardly, especially if you are in a confrontation with your significant other or boss at the time.
Step five: Give yourself a positive affirmation related to the situation.
Have a simple statement of affirmation that you can say to yourself (e.g., Calm body, alert mind; I can handle this; I'm confident and sure of myself; Peace).  To change your response to stress, change your thinking.
Step six: Repeat as necessary. In order to make this an automatic response, like any technique this requires a great deal of practice.  Practice initially as many times during the day as you can.  This is something you can do under any circumstances (e.g., when driving, in the shower, at your desk, while watching TV) and no one will even know you are doing it.  Once you know the steps, begin by recalling stressful events and practicing the steps.  After awhile the process will become automatic. 



I guarantee that this technique will work. 

I also guarantee that this will not work unless you practice it.  Of all the methods I have taught to people over the years this is the one I most often have people positively respond to months and years later. Try it for a week, if it doesn't change your life then nothing was lost.