The Belief Destroyers

Some beliefs are so big they seem overpowering and even seem to run our lives for us. We react to them.

Sometimes our core bliefs aren't necessarily in our conscious awareness. Commonly i have clients in my counseling practice who know they have unwanted feelings but can't verbalzie what it is behind them, it's usually a hidden belief. so i ask this question "what does this mean to you". Many of them then say this:

"I'm not good enough"

This of course is a deep core belief they have about themselves. More than anyhting else it is these core beliefs that run our lives.

The first step to change is always awareness, so as you begin to read thses words you may become aware of deep feelings coming up in yourself, perhaps about your own deep beliefs, about your own patterns that you continue to run yeay in year out, patterns that no longer serve you very well but still seem to be there, you can bet there are beleifs behind those patterns and feelings.

Below is a list of the areas we need to focus on in identifying our self limiting beliefs, beginning with the most obvious problematic area and slowly working towards the more subtle area of the mind.

1. 1. Recurring problems
2. 2. Patterns of behaviour
3. 3. Emotion
4. 4. Speech
5. 5. Thoughts

Take some time to examine these areas, this is where journaling can really help you to uncover recurring themes.

When you have uncovered some you can sk yourself "Where did i acquire this belief from?"

Was it from a parent or a place or a significant emotional event, maybe you were forced to blieve it or maybe it fitted at the time, what time period did it come from, was it just a belief that existed at that time. Identify its origin if you can becuae this helps it to lose its power already.

Get ready to alter them
When you have found a (or some) disempowering beliefs, ones that don't serve you anymore I want you to make a decision that these beliefs are misconceptions about you, that may be hard at first, but decide and say to yourself this is a misconception, this isn't really what I'm about, this isn't who I am. Lets take an example:

"I'm not good enough"

I've picked this because it has come up a lot in my practice and its a powerful one.

We are going to dispute this belief

Firstly i want you to sit down with a notepad (or your journal) and ask yourself "where is the evidence for this belief?"

Whatever reasons you come up with (because they might also be negative) ask yourself "how does that really mean i'm not good enough"

If one of your reasons was "because i've failed so much" or "i've let people down" or "I didn't get as many qualifications as others" or whatever ask yourself "how does that still really mean that i'm not good enough, how does that prove my belief?". If you find other reasons or your answers are still in the negative keep asking "And how does that mean i'm still not good enough, is that really evidence or proof". Every new thing you find keep asking that same question, if necessary over and over until you will find after some repetition that the negative belief begins to lose its emotional charge, you will begin to desensitize it because it will start to become ludicrous to have all these meanings that are actually not logical at all and are not consistent with reality. None of your findings would be accepted in a court of law for instance, this would not constitute proof of anything.

Can you really prove that these things you have found really mean this about you. what if they meant something else. What if feeling these things simply means you are more sensitive than some people and you have mistaken that feeling as meaning something else.

So then ask yourself "What else could these things mean thgat i feel?"

You see there are other things that it could mean, really, most people never stop to think that there could be other meanings attached to this belief and because of that they never test these other meanings out.

Now i want you to deleiberately seek out counter-examples to this belief. I want you to look for places and times where this just isn't true about you.

For instance, where have you felt Ok in your life just to be you, where have you excelled. Go to a friend and ask them, "do you think i am good enough" Really, do this last one because when they say "of course you are" it is very affirming. Most of your friends will be incredulous that you would even ask. You see because you have a freind is because you are good enough.

Now write down at least three things that are good about you or good things that you have done or achieved in the past. Please do this now.

When you have found three things and at least three then ask yourself "On a scale of 1 to 10 where 0 is totally and utterly unworthy and 10 is a feeling of supreme worthiness which number are you.

If you wrote any number between 1 and 10 - well done - because now you get to ask yourself "How come i'm not at 0". Answering this question presupposes that you have a degree of worthiness.

Try the above questions to any belief, you may have to tailor them slightly, see what happens when you use a different type of questioning technique and dispute thier truth.

By answering a set of different questions we can learn to cast doubt on our past assumptions and start to be free of these negative patterns.

Remember if you have a friend or partner you can also do The Core Transformation Process on any negative belief or behaviour